SNWK: [Working Title]

When I greet you at the top of the stairs
with an unbuttoned button-down shirt
draped over my shoulders,
I swear
the look on your face
makes me feel like I'm wearing
a prom dress,
hair done up on top of my head
instead of tangled down my back;
makeup fresh on my face
instead of smudged under my eyes

You smile at me
like you have been
waiting for me to show up at the top
of this
staircase
for your entire life.

You smile at me
like you have spent years
just wanting to hold me tight,
checking your watch
every once in a while,
wondering
if I would ever show up.

And I did,
just a decade or two later
than expected.
I would apologize for being late,
but I know you would
slap me on the hand
if I did, say
"There's no reason to apologize."
and I wouldn't blame you.
Because although part of me
wishes I had gotten on the train
to this moment
sooner,
the rest of me knows
you would tell me
our pasts are
what brought us here, and
without them,
this moment
wouldn't have happened.

We all have our scars,
and we wouldn't be who we are now
without ours.
We wouldn't have sat in a diner
for four hours,
then moved to a coffee shop
for two more
if we didn't both love Andrea Gibson,
if we didn't both know
what it means to still be living.

You have a
labyrinth of doors
in your mind, love, and
I want to open them all
with the kind of hands
you'd use to turn the pages
of a hundred-year-old book
and tiptoe through the rooms
hidden behind your reserves
to see what's there.

I promise
I'll be careful.
You just have to trust me
not to break  you,
to take every kiss you give me
and hold it close,
and never forget
the look you gave me
that morning on the staircase.

-SNWK

Andrea Gibson: Trellis

Here's a secret guys: I wouldn't know what happy was if it walked up and slapped me on the ass. I don't even know what happy is supposed to look like, or what it makes it. I've spent 24 years seeking happy and so far, I haven't found it. I've sought it in the country, in the city, in a bed, in a kayak, in a pool, in an engine, in a blue sky, in the rain and in the bottom of a bottle. I still haven't found it, no matter where I look. I'm a believer in very few things, and one of them is that some of us can't be happy. At an early age, I developed abandonment issues because I never had a pet that stayed, because my sister was my best friend until she moved out and I never saw her again at the ripe age of 6. I spent too much time asking why; I still do. I don't understand anything, so I spend too much time thinking about things that I can't answer, ergo, I try my best not to think at all. I do my best to just duck my head and let people pretend that I'm happy, that I'm smiling for real, that there isn't a tattoo on top of the scars to remind me that we can't all be everything we're supposed to be; and then modify that to be that some of us just aren't. We all have scars, but how we cope is much different. I'm sitting at a keyboard, waiting on a call back, on a text, on anything tonight. At this point, I don't even know what it is I'm waiting for. I'm just waiting. I can't believe, if you'd have asked me in 2008, that my purpose in life would be to wake up and go to work 9 days out of 14. That I would know 6 people in a city and be alone more often than I'm with people. It feels so empty. I wish I could fill it with god, with yoga, with running, with people, with drugs or with sunshine. It isn't so. It just remains a void with no end. 

Trellis.
There is a reason my body creaks like a closing casket every time I fuck with the lights left on. It is the same reason my friend sets fire to photographs of birds and follows the smoke with pleading eyes. We've both had years when the Phoenix didn’t rise, when we slept in beds of cindered feathers and held hollow ashen beaks the way the other kids hold ice cream cones. I suck the bones of a songbird’s rotting wings and you think your pills are going to fix me, doctor? You think I’m going to chase this down with water? The shame as loud as his next girl’s nightmares. I tied my tongue like a ribbon in my baby sister’s hair, like a bow around a gift I gave to my mother and father and my silence equaled every Christmas morning we were still happy and grateful, but my silence was also his next girl’s eyes, fallen like timber when no one chose to hear her roots ripped up, her ground eroding to the din of an old man’s zipper. 20 years later I wake in damp sheets, my body trembling to the ghost of her voice cracking like a frozen lake and I don’t even know her name. I never saw her face. Only heard the rumor that he moved on to the hemorrhage of another perfect thing, And now here I sing through cinder, through microphones raised like white flags in war zones, through poems dug from my throat like fishing hooks from pier. I look back at my voice lowered to half mast, how he must have stood there with his dirty hand on his dirty heart laughing like a broken levy as his next girl woke with body bags beneath her eyes and enough shame in her gut to give the hurricane her own name. If I could see her face, if I could face the eye of her storm, how would I ever tell her that I speak for a living? Would I offer my own wounds as condolence? Would I say his claws carved me animal? Would I say at 14 years old I threw my bloody fist into my boyfriends face ‘til his eye swelled shut and his tears turned crimson and his jaw cracked, ‘til I was finally convinced his hands were not every man’s hands? Would I tell her I have stood beneath street lamps waiting for the swarming flies to identify my body as carcass, to swallow every cell of salt and leave nothing behind but the trellis of my untouched bones? I remember the fault line in the corners of his eyes, the way he shook hands with my father, the look on his face beneath the swollen sun, even his shadow looked guilty. The concrete made crime scene by his touch. Would I tell her this? Would I ask if she has ever outlined her own body in chalk? Is there yellow tape in your top dresser drawer for the night when your true love’s kiss is an anthem to a dead country, and you find yourself with rope burns around your neck, begging the bodies of stranger to not respect you in the morning? In the morning I shovel my blood from the white snow. I wipe my frantic breath from the window and I bind my breasts so that something will hold my breath so tight not even the air in my lungs could be identified as woman. Woman are you a carbon copy of myself? Is there a boy inside you painting yourself with the cells of charcoaled feathers? So you will never again glow in the dark the way girls do? Woman if I knew your name, if I could face the eye of your storm in the warning locked in my voice box that never came would I tell you all of this and after that would I find the nerve to admit that even if I could I wouldn't take my silence back? My father owned a gun. He would have blown that man apart. My mother owned a mother’s heart. Everything would have broken, everything but you.

Ra Ra Riot: Keep It Quiet (Bear)

Ra Ra Riot is an indie rock band hailing from Syracuse, New York The band, which formed in 2006, consists of Wes Miles (vocals, keyboards), Milo Bonacci (guitar), Matthieu Santos (bass), Rebecca Zeller (violin) and Gabriel Duquette (drums). The band’s original drummer, John Pike, died in Fairhaven, Massachusetts on June 3, 2007, drowning in Buzzard's Bay shortly after a show in Providence, Rhode Island. The band continued on and released their debut full length album The Rhumb Line in 2008. The band released their second full-length album, The Orchard, on August 24th, 2010. In February 2012, cellist and keyboardist Alexandra Lawn left the band.

Bear in Heaven: Dust Cloud

Bear in Heaven is a Brooklyn-based rock band formed by Mr. Jon Philpot. The sound of the band incorporates elements from psychedelic music, electronic music and krautrock, of which Jon Philpot has previously released music as part of the duo Presocratics, in collaboration with guitarist and composer Need Thomas Windham. Presocratics released two albums on the record label Table of the Elements in 2001; both were produced by Philpot. The first Bear in Heaven release (Tunes Nextdoor to Songs, Eastern Developments 2003) was an EP of solo recordings by Philpot, recorded in Atlanta, Georgia, with guest musicians performing on various instruments. Shortly after the release of Tunes Nextdoor to Songs, Philpot moved to Brooklyn, New York and joined with guitarist Adam Wills, keyboardist/guitarist Sadek Bazaraa (a graphic designer with Brooklyn design collective GH avisualagency), guitarist David Daniell (of San Agustin), and bassist James Elliott (Ateleia, School of Seven Bells). Eventually drummer Joe Stickney (drummer with Paul Duncan, Rhys Chatham’s Essentialist project, and current touring drummer with Panthers) was added to the lineup. Daniell left Bear in Heaven in 2005 to focus on his solo project. Red Bloom of the Boom, Bear in Heaven’s first full-length album with the full band, was released in 2007 by the Hometapes record label.

"I want to kiss your mouth again
and fill up everything I can
I want to blow you up and let you out
I'll show you how"

La Femme: It's Time to Wake Up

French smooth/lead/tropical/surf/cold wave band from Paris.They released an eponymous EP soon followed by the group's first album, “Psycho Tropical Berlin”, receiving raving reviews.

5 Seconds Of Summer: The Only Reason

I heard this song and thought +Hanna Demirjian would rather enjoy it, with her love for punk and search for Ocean Avenue.

 5 Seconds Of Summer are a 4-piece  band formed in 2011 in the land down under, consisting of members Luke Hemmings (lead vocals, guitar), Michael Clifford (guitar, vocals), Calum Hood (bass guitar, vocals), and Ashton Irwin (drums, vocals) Signed to Capitol Records, they were enabled to start their own sub-label ‘Hi Or Hey Records’ in 2014. Their second single, ‘She Looks So Perfect ’ was released on 23 February 2014 with an album to follow shortly after.

Ben Howard: Only Love

 I've written about Ben Howard before, and I really  like to show what people I've "discovered" have done! I heard this on the radio (gasp) one evening as I was driving from somewhere to somewhere else.

"Darling you're with me,
always around me.
Only love, only love.
Darling I feel you, under my body.
Only love, only love."

Star Slinger remix of The Go! Team: Apollo Throwdown

After an extended hiatus for life, I'm back with a passion. Since the last time I wrote for you guys, I've moved cities, I've been broken up with, I've has a couple different jobs, I've started new relationships and ended them. I've seen a hearse do a doughnut, I've climbed the highest mountain I could see just to scream off the top of it. I've driven more hours than I care to calculate, and I'm still not where I want to be. Now, the music.

The Go! Team are a Brighton, United Kingdom-based six piece band (with two drummers!!) whose songs are a mixture of action-theme songs, cheerleader's chants, noise-pop guitars and early hip-hop, with a hint of some 1970's funk. On record, their songs are often pieced together from samples, although live the songs are performed mostly with live instruments.

My Morning Jacket cover of Jason Molina: Farewell Transmission

My Morning Jacket (a Louisville, KY-based rock band, reppin' my home state!) does a cover of my favourite artist's song?!?! What's not to love about the way that My Morning Jacket covers the sad song "Farewell Transmission" by Jason Molina? They incorporate the original steel guitar sound, combining the musical saw sound in as well (most likely with guitars as well) artfully. The band, which is already known for their use of masterful reverb'd guitars, does a great job of working that in, here. Although, when "labelled", My Morning Jacket is a hard pin, combining Alternative Country sound with a Psychedelic rock feel and use of folky lyrics.

Pigeon: Climbing Trees

Pigeon showcases a meeting point between organic and electronic music, which forms an eclectic mix. The Brisbane-based band formed in early 2010 when a group of musicians sporting vastly differing musical backgrounds joined forces in order to create an earful of tasty textural aural treats. Combining jazz musicians with electronic artists, DJ’s and rock musicians, Pigeon is an eclectic treat for a modern audience that craves diversity in every song. "Climbing Trees" is no exception!!!

Hippie Sabotage remix of Kyla La Grange: Cut Your Teeth

UK based singer Kyla La Grange's latest track "Cut Your Teeth" is intricately laced with soothing vocals that explore the rhythmic sensation of pop as well as R&B, with basic percussion and droplets of indie and scratchy futuristic sounds. Although Kyla La Grange is quite the colorful woman, equipped with a vibrant presence and pastel rainbow-colored hair, her vocals also carry their own weight with a  brightening effect. With that in mind, it's quite interesting to delve into the remix that Cali-based production duo Hippie Sabotage have spun to the turntable.  Hippie Sabotage alter the song's original poppy aura by drastically lowering the pitch, morphing it into a sound that closely resembles what an AlunaGeorge and an XXYYXX fusion might sound like. Overall, this remix of "Cut Your Teeth" beautifully contrasts with the original by adding thicker and heavier dimensions to the already existing one. 

James Anthony "Tony" Simon: Blockhead

The head of this blog added me a while back. While I think I might of snuck a post in once... other than that I've been lax. After a long hiatus from music, due to backlogs of audio books, I present another post.

I've liked another artist this cat is associated with for a while though just realized they had worked together previously. Blockhead (his given name is in the title) is Manhattan based and has worked with a number of independent hip hop and rap artist. Most significantly for me being Aesop Rock who I've appreciated for some time. I've been listening to a few of his albums on loop while gouaching away some cold Siberian nights. Also, turns out it's quite possible to listen to music and an audio book simultaneously.

I'll strongly recommend the three albums I have currently; Music by Cavelight, Interludes after Midnight, Uncle Tony's Coloring Book. There's touches of jazz, a bit of arabic influence, and the sneaky bit of spoken word here and there. Have fun kids.

Gem Club: Braid

I've been really quiet lately, and not in a good way. I've been super busy: one of my professors died (we've been sorting all that out), I have a new job (that I start tomorrow), I've been globe trotting a bit, and mainly BECAUSE I HAVEN'T FOUND ANY NEW MUSIC THAT I LIKE (what the actual fuck). However, this gem from Gem Club (no pun) is wonderful. I literally haven't listened to a Gem Club song that I even slightly dislike.

Toprider remix of The Outfield: Your Love (Sunrider remix)

Topmodelz is the dance project of German DJ Pulsedriver. The Outfield, though, is a 1980's English powerhouse that was overly popular in the United States, topping the billboard charts at number 6.

Local Natives: Bower

Another great some from California-bound group Local Natives.

Daphne Loves Derby: Cue the Sun!

"If I find my way through the darkest of days, Will I laugh about the things that kept me awake? But if my greatest fears paints itself so crystal clear, Will I run away or will I hide?  And if I don't come home tonight, Just know I tried my best to fight. Please don't think I plan to lose to the night. And curse the moon so dull and bright, My heavy soul can't stand the light. It burns me straight to the bones, my bones  In the desert sun I watched my nerves come undone. One by one my strings they tangled into knots. And ever since that day, deep in Santa Fe. I've learned to hate myself for giving everything away.  And if I don't come home tonight, Just know I tried my best to fight. Please don't think I plan to lose to the night. And curse the moon so dull and bright, My heavy soul can't stand the light. It burns me straight to the bones, my bones  And if I don't come home tonight, Just know I tried my best to fight. Please don't think I plan to lose to the night. And curse the moon so dull and bright, My heavy soul can't stand the light. It burns me straight to the bones, my bones"

City & Colour: Against the Grain

"You need not to climb mountaintops, You need not to cross the sea, You need not to find a cure for everything that makes you weak. You need not to reach for the stars when life becomes so dark, And when the wind does blow against the grain, You must follow your heart, You must follow your heart.  When all your friends have come and gone, And the sun no longer shines, And the happiness for which you long is washed away like an ocean's tide, When all the hard times outweigh the good, And all your words are misunderstood, When the day seems lost from the start You must follow your heart, You must follow your heart.  If you feel you've paid the price, And your wounds should cease to heal And everything you love in life spins like a winding wheel. If you should wake to find you're abandoned, And the road you've traveled leads to a dead-end When death creeps in to play it's part, You must follow your heart, You must follow your heart."

Jason Molina: Get Out Get Out Get Out

"Something must've happened to both of us
something must've happened
something always does
something must have told ya burn the bridges then the map
something always told ya to do it.

I lived low enough so the moon wouldn't waste its light on me
what's left in this life that would do the same for me?
Something must have only loved one of us
To say get out, get out, get out

get out, while there's still something left of us
get out, get out, get out
get out, get out, get out"

Catching Flies remix of Mt. Wolf: Life Size Ghosts

I'm not even going to look up anything about either of these bands; they're literally the only things standing between me and a funk that even black tea with honey can't fix. They're the sunshine on a shit day, where the weather is 18 degrees and the world is sheathed in snow; where the person you love doesn't even know you exist, where your parents forget your birthday, where your car's service engine light kicks on, where music isn't even real anymore....They're between that and me, and they're doing a damn good job of keeping the "Life-Sized Ghosts" at bay.

Kodak to Graph: Glaciaa

Kodak to Graph is the musical stylings of Michael Maleki, who specializes in chill electronics with lush layers of textures, emotions and sounds designed to please aural receptors.

Teen Daze remix of Nils Frahm: You

This track is a take on Nils Frahm's You. Frahm, being a student of Nahum Brodski (taught by Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky), plays ridiculously well, and is versed well in both the classical and contemporary stylings. His melodic chords are gorgeous!

Wakey!Wakey!: Brooklyn

Wakey!Wakey! is (mostly) the heart-strings of Michael Grubbs being played on track. The band is more than that, as Grubbs incorporates new voices, sounds, instruments, and other souls to compliment his own. Grubbs hails from New York City, New York and actually stars in "One Tree Hill" as the character, Grubbs.

The lyrics of this song go on for days:

"I hope I see you soon,
Because you're fond of me and I am fond of you.
These days I guess that's all it takes,
That and just a few mistakes
...
So tonight I'll be your Brooklyn,
So cold and yet so far away!
Just tell me what you want for me to say,
And if it brings you home?

I guess its safe to say,
We both could use this fire escape,
Cause I've been breathing ashes in,
And I've been waiting for something to carry you away."

Sylvan Esso featuring Amelia Randall Meath: Coffee

Amelia is probably an angel or a goddess, I've yet to determine which. The single is pretty much perfect early morning cafe music: mellow keys and shimmering chimes against a shuffling, insistent beat, intertwining with Meath’s warm, melancholy voice, building to a subdued crescendo with her refrain “get up, get down”.

The song’s wistful tone is perfectly captured in the lines
“Wild winter, warm coffee, mom’s gone, do you love me?
blazing summer, cold coffee, baby’s gone, do you love me?”

Band of Horse: No one's Gonna Love You

Band of Horses is an old staple, but this song's been on my mind quite a bit recently.

"It's looking like a limb torn off
Or altogether just taken apart
We're reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

And anything to make you smile
It is my better side of you to admire
But they should never take so long
Just to be over then back to another one

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone,
They could have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.

Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off
Or you liked it that way

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone
They should have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard"